reasoning . .

location: shit hole .

had the urge to blog about nothing.what a life! fun fun .

''T: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.

S: I know.

T: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.

S: And I can't give you that. Nobody can. ''

being able to not commit in a relation would no doubt be fun! but inevitably you fear of loneliness and deep inside your are caught up with mixed mumbo jumbo emotions of wanting to be loved and head home returning to a soul which will be able to fill you up with hugs and kisses, an ear to lend on hows your day been, filling up your spare time with darling moments.

its been evinced, close friends of mine would know. one of my lifegoal's would be instead of marriage, i shall be the second wife. weird isnt it? a girl grew up with fairytales with happy endings. prince meets princess, fell in love, marriage, kids. unfortunately, i doubt my future reality would really be pictured as mentioned. probably,me a lost poor soul in life, had enough of pleasing and ends up alone. or maybe there really will be someone. . . . ppft. or maybe, i might be a hyporcrite in the endeavours. perhaps, ill really meet someone and fall for them .

its unpredictable, FATE would be my opponent!

one quote that samantha splurged out the other day in the car, it went something like '' so weird if you put xind and love in one sentence''

and yes, i've to admit. today, marking my annivarsary statement of being single for approximately half a year, i do muck around, getting close to guys(not necessarily sexually thanks), mindfucking, its bad! yet again why would i do such a thing.i've done my bit of giving and sharing my love at a young age to relationship, hence its an excuse for me to play this game of hide and seek. my mind perception:all guys are nearly as the same , one day they will fuck you up bad and leave.contradicting or maybe cheating as a scenario, even if you have worked things out, deep inside a grudge would still be held. at that stage, there you'll be ,the female getting depressed and upset over some dickhead. would it be worth the time? you judge.

i love you is such a strong word dont you agree?yet simple to say .

as i grew thru flings and relations in life, two things ill love about myself. how easy i could cut it off without feeling a thing. secondly , saying no as well as hooking up without saying i love you

KARMA you say? hey! im being repenting . i can safely say besides all the fights and drama's according to the previous boyfriends, i probably been a good and stable gf for the past years. bottomline, obedient in a way.

being a female isnt easy, we are hay wired with emotions. oh hey thats where i come in and scrwe and burn the hay wires away and enjoy the ride.

lets hope the next boy which passes by would be lucky , ill be the best one :P, and secretly deep inside i shall want it to last ;) im not as bad :D

one song which has been affected and hit me real hard:

dont trust men -minwoo

the lyrics describes it all .

I don’t know how, but I felt affection for you
Somehow you became family
But as I kept on staring at you, you started to annoy me
Because the conscience of my heart kept pricking me

So I let you go
Because I didn’t think I loved you that much
I sent you away, I..

If you try leave, I’ll hold on to you
But if you come back, I’ll feel burdened
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

You’re too good to give to someone else
But you’re someone I don’t want to keep
I don’t want to marry you, but I do want to date you
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

I really love you, but I always make you sad
I really am a bad man
Don’t forgive me

Cause I’m a bad boy (Yes!)
I’m such a selfish person
If the shorty with the nice body passes by, I automatically
Stare.. that’s just me. I’m honest. No fantasy from D.
You know my style right? Even if you say you don’t like me, you smile
Ah ha! This is me
Even if you leave me like this, I won’t be disappointed (No!)
Our affections were rooted more deeply than our love
Say bye or be mine, you’re my one and only marten
I’m your bad boy forever and always

Don’t come any closer, I’ll just feel more apologetic
Leave me alone now, don’t love a guy like me

enough of bullshit . .

and no im not emo!thanks :*)

ps: if this post offends you, deeply apologize :] clikc the exit button if you may

okthxbye

xx