the couples.

I’m just waiting for the one girl who will protect me, who will make me feel deserving enough to have someone else. I’m waiting for the one girl who will truly understand me, who wants to atleast. Who will not be drived away by emotions, when I try to push them away. Who won’t give up on me. 

i will be that girl .

To the guys out there that don’t notice the smallest things , If a girl is willing to take the time to call you or text you to resolve issues or tension between you and her, then know that she truly does care for you. Don’t ignore her or neglect her, Pick up that phone and talk things out with her in order to resolve those issue. You are someone special in her life and she can’t stand the fact that she might lose you due to some insignificant argument. Learn to forgive and forget, Sometimes you just have to let go of the past and live in the moment, Cherish the time you and her have had and will continue to have in the future. Go make happy memories full of laughs and happiness. Don’t let those insignificant moments of anger get between the both of you and most of all never let her go to sleep mad or sad.

The argumentative couple.

The couple that always fights, yet they never have the guts to leave each other.

The ‘IT’ couple.

The couple that everyone wishes to be. The one couple that everyone looks up too. and wishes to have such a relationship.

The playful couple.

The  relationship everyone wishes they had with their significant one. Where they can play practical jokes on each other, and yet still find each other way too resisting.

The romantic couple.

The couple that always has everything planned out for each other. Anniversaries. Holidays. They both know what to do for one another. and always plans something just to see the other one smile.

The risky couple.

The couple that took the risk of falling in love with each other. And yet, still have the feelings that they had, when they first fell for one another.

The ‘trying’ couple.

The couple that always seems to have most problems. But always keep trying, because losing each other would be the worst thing for them.

The ‘perfect’ couple.

A couple that is just satisfied to have each other. With them, and yet so far away.

which do we fall in ?

make them yours before. . .

Make them yours, before someone else does. Make that move, before someone else does. Hold them close, before someone else does. Tell them you love them, before someone else does. 

Time wont wait for you, you have to make the moments happen. 

xx

deeper

Shes lost her sanity for words, the lack of sleep does justice to her piece of mind.Like a dark child numb and dumbfounded, bounded to heartbreak.What hurt this child was smtg so close and intimate. Something personal.Someone personal.
Abusive thoughts pondering and floating amongst the air she breathes, she lives and feed on these pain ..when does it ever end?repeatedly shes tried to reposition herself into this cold, endless political world. the consequence will still remain constant and inevitable. is there hope to be bound to truth someone so deep again?how much lies does it take to learn about the truth? insecurity bounds these lies and truths. 

what defines love?

shes lost herself in the world of silence and lies. letting herself believe in a religion and ritual which she didnt deserve to be in. 

all she wanted was to love and be loved, simple and simply. no regrets, no holding back, just pure happiness. day by day flowing through the days without negativity, shouldnt this be what we are living for? waking up to his beautiful smile, being the one for this other soul, merrying along the days. her guards down for this person, believing in his every word, no doubtings, offering a portion of her heart. there is not  a single doubt that she longs for him, his truth his trust his smile, his soul. she recognises the fear of losing him,which is being outgrown by the emotions she has for him. 

however,

purity simple happiness still seems so out of reach for her. 

def: thoughts

THOUGHTS,
 The faculty of thinking or reasoning.

it is this faculty detesting the most. the pale look into your eyes conveys a huge thunder of thoughts in your mind.sitting quietly and patiently for the share of thoughts, as always, but knowingly its deeply killing inside to urge and strangle you to share them. the earthy colour tone of this cubicle walls slowly dying and drowning the sorrow of two earthlings souls. thoughts loomed overhead, soaking two souls in distances containing dirty unsolved emotions. drawing in a breath of the cool , moist air circulating the cubicle, more thoughts grew. like it leech, it stays on until being spotted and brushed off. this time its different, they stayed on and grew. the thoughts of course. it is because of these unsecured, evil, spontaneous thoughts which kills the souls. 

the pain of silence and coldness shattered this one soul. 

could it be the end?

there should be a reasoning for everything should they ?

''self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combatingnegative emotions, should be a defensive measure.  At least we will be able to prevent the advent of negative conduct dominated by negative emotion.  That is 'shila', or moral ethics.  Once we develop this by familiarizing ourselves with it, along with mindfulness and conscientiousness, eventually that pattern and way of life will become a part of our own life."-

over the pass months, boulder of challenges have literally knocked down. due to this a tough nutshell of mine is formed, hence creating a less vulnerable and more cynical self. its time to let go of old feelings that no longer have a use for in this. those feelings might include regret over a path not taken , or probably anger at someone who betrayed the trust, or maybe sadness over someone whom let me down. while at it, letting go of self doubt, guilt over poor choice or an error in judgement comes vital. when all these useless emotions are shed away, the dazzling person in me shines. dreams will be free to reach and waiting to be revealed. believe me.

mad hatters

another weekend gone.
time should just slow down.
its triggering a self-mode implosion in my mind right now.
tripping on upcoming assignments!gotta get my gear on!
uni late nights are back in trend again, way ahead before the exam periods.

gah. ive ntg in mind, exp you :)

good night babies.

hi ! im i what you're looking for. . because you've got the arms I want to be wrapped in, the eyes I want to get lost in, and the voice I want to wake up to every morning.

你不应该想他了...我应该继续前进

ps: i died a little inside , knowing that it would be monday tomorrow. Dear time, could you slow down just a little , i cant keep up!

nights xx

*leaving on a jet plane

Action-Belief-Consequence ..It's the ABC's that run your life. You can only receive what you believe!

* seems to soon . .

the coziness down high street into new edition doesn't seem to stop perplexing me. soothing soul music filled the air for the whole of the dearest 5 hours. 15 hours a week, i'll be here listening to little chitty chatty convo's ranging from life social issues, how's your day ?, searching for the lonely planet section, hide and seek everywhere.i like it. it's the beginning of winter and the weather has taken a nice turn for the cooler air. its been 2 years since we left our high school years. every single time memories from high school pops up, my stomach tends to grow mixed feelings and are untangling themselves, showing me what i knew was already there but too afraid to admit. bob dylan was right, the times are a changing and i definately didnt like it. In a handful of months my life has turned - not so much upside down but definitely had been tilted and shaken. nevertheless, recently i've been getting mixed emotional feelings about a boy, the need of him to mend and make it all less heavy is definately a want. however, im still glad that the girlfriends from high school have stuck by me, I have never felt more isolated. I honestly thought that all the confusion and drama that was at the epicenter of high school was where it ended, but I have come to find that it was all preparation - a transition phase into the sadistic game of life. Those who I expected to be there to hold my incapable, vulnerable and unknowing hands, seem to be fading, their light in my life getting dimmer as the days pass. New friends hurry along, yet again do we still trust them to the fullest? Life game gets more complicated as the days grow. . .

p/s: i miss photography .

x

*mishLAH's 19th

*polaroids never lie

060310saturday

my last weekend was fine :)

it was the lady's birthday.

yesh mishpang! the MXMS since 2008

high school rebels we were.instead of being studious for human biology, we ended up camwhoring and puffing ciggs half of the night.

ah good taimes. :D

and finally, a post of picha to feast your eyes.

selective btw. :) nevertheless, trying a new way of posting. decided that i would quote some of the pichas , it would contain this symbol (*). tryin to make them as beautiful as they look :) do let me know if you like them. .

x

the lady :)

the two ladies i spent the whole night with at the club!

mellieLAH!

adelineLAH!

xinDlahhhh!

*Time is never wasted when youre wasted all the time.

tanlous =]

how adorable is she !

yannie hoggin her cake!

*I'm old enough know better but young enough not to care.

*I can't help but sit here and think about all the stupid stuff we have done together. I wouldn't want to be stupid with anyone else.

*Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink.

threesomes :)

and off to the clubs we headed, the three girlies. :} single ladies night out :) wooohoo

* at this stage, it hit me where this is the time for us to shine and let the world go and live to party and have a good time.

*Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you're going to miss in the years ahead

camwhore

*There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out

* friends that will always have your back will never let you go that quickly

eric pang!

:)

skanks !

*You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

*If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.

*'im a firm believer that sometimes its right to do the wrong thing.

*I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.

the lovelies we are .

*When times get rough you'll find out who your real friends are.

*Because of you... I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a little more.

*A friend is somebody you want to be around when you feel like being by yourself

oh and this is kelvin my favourite and frequent wing man :)

* Juju

*Life is made up of years that mean nothing and moments that mean it all.

im good like that.

*Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

reasoning . .

location: shit hole .

had the urge to blog about nothing.what a life! fun fun .

''T: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.

S: I know.

T: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.

S: And I can't give you that. Nobody can. ''

being able to not commit in a relation would no doubt be fun! but inevitably you fear of loneliness and deep inside your are caught up with mixed mumbo jumbo emotions of wanting to be loved and head home returning to a soul which will be able to fill you up with hugs and kisses, an ear to lend on hows your day been, filling up your spare time with darling moments.

its been evinced, close friends of mine would know. one of my lifegoal's would be instead of marriage, i shall be the second wife. weird isnt it? a girl grew up with fairytales with happy endings. prince meets princess, fell in love, marriage, kids. unfortunately, i doubt my future reality would really be pictured as mentioned. probably,me a lost poor soul in life, had enough of pleasing and ends up alone. or maybe there really will be someone. . . . ppft. or maybe, i might be a hyporcrite in the endeavours. perhaps, ill really meet someone and fall for them .

its unpredictable, FATE would be my opponent!

one quote that samantha splurged out the other day in the car, it went something like '' so weird if you put xind and love in one sentence''

and yes, i've to admit. today, marking my annivarsary statement of being single for approximately half a year, i do muck around, getting close to guys(not necessarily sexually thanks), mindfucking, its bad! yet again why would i do such a thing.i've done my bit of giving and sharing my love at a young age to relationship, hence its an excuse for me to play this game of hide and seek. my mind perception:all guys are nearly as the same , one day they will fuck you up bad and leave.contradicting or maybe cheating as a scenario, even if you have worked things out, deep inside a grudge would still be held. at that stage, there you'll be ,the female getting depressed and upset over some dickhead. would it be worth the time? you judge.

i love you is such a strong word dont you agree?yet simple to say .

as i grew thru flings and relations in life, two things ill love about myself. how easy i could cut it off without feeling a thing. secondly , saying no as well as hooking up without saying i love you

KARMA you say? hey! im being repenting . i can safely say besides all the fights and drama's according to the previous boyfriends, i probably been a good and stable gf for the past years. bottomline, obedient in a way.

being a female isnt easy, we are hay wired with emotions. oh hey thats where i come in and scrwe and burn the hay wires away and enjoy the ride.

lets hope the next boy which passes by would be lucky , ill be the best one :P, and secretly deep inside i shall want it to last ;) im not as bad :D

one song which has been affected and hit me real hard:

dont trust men -minwoo

the lyrics describes it all .

I don’t know how, but I felt affection for you
Somehow you became family
But as I kept on staring at you, you started to annoy me
Because the conscience of my heart kept pricking me

So I let you go
Because I didn’t think I loved you that much
I sent you away, I..

If you try leave, I’ll hold on to you
But if you come back, I’ll feel burdened
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

You’re too good to give to someone else
But you’re someone I don’t want to keep
I don’t want to marry you, but I do want to date you
This is how men are, I’m a bad man
Don’t trust such a cowardly man

I really love you, but I always make you sad
I really am a bad man
Don’t forgive me

Cause I’m a bad boy (Yes!)
I’m such a selfish person
If the shorty with the nice body passes by, I automatically
Stare.. that’s just me. I’m honest. No fantasy from D.
You know my style right? Even if you say you don’t like me, you smile
Ah ha! This is me
Even if you leave me like this, I won’t be disappointed (No!)
Our affections were rooted more deeply than our love
Say bye or be mine, you’re my one and only marten
I’m your bad boy forever and always

Don’t come any closer, I’ll just feel more apologetic
Leave me alone now, don’t love a guy like me

enough of bullshit . .

and no im not emo!thanks :*)

ps: if this post offends you, deeply apologize :] clikc the exit button if you may

okthxbye

xx