2015 of all

another year passes.
hello there world if you're still reading.
i guess the blogging trend is no longing much a need to the community anymore perhaps?

should we do the typical post of resolutions for the year? yums so much excitement, literally being sarcastic.
more like a reminder for myself , when i get to reflect by 2016.

1, do have what i have always wanted, a place of my own, a store of my own, i believe this would be the year ! its my time to shine!

2, work harder and harder and harder till my bank account grows sporadically

3, learn to be patient and change my ways  of ego . BE ZEN , be me :D

4, hitting my materialistic list

5, work my relationship
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The realisations that stampede towards me within the sphere of my bedroom run circles in my head - round and round, bouncing back and forth between the notions of 'i'm losing it' and 'i'm fine'. I can feel fine cracks forming in my mentality, like cracks in a glass pane, surging and splitting with the slightest touch. It is with each moment with and without you I feel the cracks growing. What was once a giant unbreakable wall now lies rubble at my feet, my vulnerability exposed to be prodded and examined by someone from the outside. 
strikes again,  i love you. I'm mostly sure. i never said it to you because mainly i was too scared and i was hoping that you would know somehow. occasionally at the randomest times i would always question you, do you love me? it was just one word i needed to know, even though i know. i just wanted to hear it. the sound of it would kill all of the negativity again. every time i attempt to say it now, it feels also not so us anymore. but yeah, i still love you. Even though sometimes you make me want to physically hurt you and even after all the times you've ( unintentionally ) hurt me, you;ve been pretty great , as a boyfriend and a best friend. the first year has been amazing, and even though it hurts like hell now when we argue, i don't regret getting into this. and don't you say you wish that i didn't like you this much because i do, despite many efforts. when our last fight occur which was 2 days ago, i swell myself up in the wounds of pain. and all you had was your man ego, you ego to never forgive or even apologise just for me. must you be so calculative in this relationship. i used to lay on your bare chest without thoughts, about how the last few moments between us felt right, the current moments felt safe and the next moment was lost in ecstasy. it seems that now when i lay on your bare chest heavy thoughts surrounds, about how not long from now i will be laying on my pillow without you. the kiss on the forehead brings me back to where we are, reassuring me that its fine, that is still how it was. 

what is this i am feeling, where am i to you?
words or thoughts?
just say it to me , fight your ego 

dear me

it happens, it always happens in a relationship.

 they call it normal , but to me its a cry for help. 

being silent and comprising built up by themselves started to fuel up and tend to turn themselves into tears and anger which unable my function to react as a normal human being again. 

i rebelled and went against all the rule of being in a relationship. 

i lost it , it was a unforeseen one time flash with no one to pull the brakes,

the furiousity  of being the strong one just threw the flames into the eyes

and there and then , the drive out the door. it was lost to what we thought would be a good night. 

but as i raved on the night with heavy laughter, melodious humour, my presence wasnt there. 

it got so numb, time swelling on to my skin. what i really wanted was to leave the artificial pain killer

there is was the unexpected causing an uproar scene.  

there was an exception this time, i really wanted to die

those words hit the depth of the core. sanity became insanity. 

minutes, hours and day 

there i was laying on the ground crawled up like a ball, unknown for the fact that my whole world came crashing down worst than ever before. 

constant turbulence emotions in the head, blurred by visions

it pulled it back the pain, i didnt want to grow and have my kids seeing me like this in the future.

its time to grow and give in to face the reality. 

as i look back at myself in the mirror today, 

i scare myself thinking of how horrible i could have been at that second.

and here it comes the sunshine, 

i am glad to have you as a support, my partner

the p

flatness of faults and thoughts scramble through my mind. 

wishing someone would reach out a hand handing a guide to life book 101. 

but that aint going to happen, 

because this is what we called life. 

life. 

in the duration of them,

we just gotta take them moments and gobblem them up like the cookie monster. 

life you gave me a constant test of patience and virtue. 

patience

to love

to learn 

to listen

to understand

to let myself gobble down the pain

to hide mysorrows

to hide my thoughts. 

so tell me why did i have to learn this patience.

when you are comparing me to the pass

i am not them

don't apply your emotions on me

because it aint fair. 

the way you're leading this tears up my patiences. .

*travellah: London day 2 2013

London Day 2

So we woke up relatively early and aimed to HARRODS and Harvey Nichols. Knowingly on a weekend the shops opened later, hence we had a light breakfast right opposite Harrods. 

Harrods Food Market

look at the pretty pastries!

H for HaRRODS

the very paparazzi awesome shot hahah!

After shopping, we headed to Ducks and Waffles ( also recommended by Sinner :) 

It was such an amazing experience especially the view being so spectacular! it was definately not a let down, knowing most restaurants with a beautiful view the food can be quite shocking horrible! ugh! but Duck and Waffle proved me wrong! Located at Level 40 of Heron Towers, you will be bombarded with Londons fantastic view. The food is amazing! Definately rating it 9/10! If ever youre in London, its a must to try this place for brunch! oh dont forget your booking!

The Menu

bacon wrapped dates! the taste of the bacon was just crispy and not burnt at all!as you chew on the date just melts in your mouth like tender sweet potatoes! 

oh thanks to the lovely staff, they moved us to a nicer view of the restaurant for a better view

angus rib eye with barley heritage carrots and radish. the boy says its fantastic with the rib melting in your mouth

well obviously how can we not miss the DUCK AND WAFFLES :) 

asians at work

happy people

the bar so creative not too classy not too tacky 

after brunch ,we strolled along and did the touristy things!

hello big ben

hello big and small BEN 

his infamous benjijump

London eye

 my favourite pic in London!

Buckingham Palace


By night we headed to the actual Bone Daddies RAMEN!! like finally
my rating: 6/10

ended the night at HAAGEN DASZ!

*travellah: London day 1 2013

PERTH - KUALA LUMPUR

we had a stop 12 hour stop over at KL! The boy was sweet enough to arrange a stopover for this long, because he knew i craved and wanted my favourite noodles of all PAN MEE!! the took the kind courtesy of achknowledging my utter most annoying craving and took it justice! oh the best part was, i was reunited with my baby love which i haven seen for 2.5 years!!! HSIN YE,  my other sinner!  me wuvcs you so much!

when ben meets sinner :)

LONDON 

Ok we arrived at London very early in the morning, oh tip when travelling around europe always look up for a private transfer, which is so must cheaper than taking cabs in the airport.
Upon our arrival , we booked JustAirports which cost us about less than 40pounds from our airport to the hotel. Ibis Euston was our home for 3 nights. The location was good enough for us, as Euston train station (main train station) were located right opposite our hotel, and no there was no noise pollution or anyother relevant disturbance. I would rate Ibis Euston 6/10, as it is basically classed to me as a business corporate genre stay. The location is no doubt fantastic as mentioned. Euston is  probably a 4 stops away from Leicester Square, main place where you would wanna be!
On public transport, the tube is so convenient there is no need for a cab unless youre really lost , make sure you obtained an Oyster card which can be topped up anytime, we make several journeys and altogether spent about 35pounds per person. Oh and what i found really useful was the Tube application on smart phones, its so friggin good! it tells you wait line to take without even asking anybody. Our first stop was to Covent Garden, in search for breakfast, we stopped at Kopapa a Kiwi found cafe. Apparently, Kopapa is quite well known by the locals.  

Turkish eggs’ from Changa restaurant in Istanbul – 2 poached eggs with whipped yoghurt, hot chilli butter & 2 slices of toast  

KOPAPA 

32-34 Monmouth St  Covent Garden, London WC2H 9HA, United Kingdom

Some colourful lane in Covent Garden 

the other dish  was Spiced banana French toast with grilled bacon, orange blossom labne, tamarind raisin relish & orange vanilla syrup

wallpaper of Urban Outfitters

the perfect london candid shot! haha the cute cab and the red phone booth alongside english structure

pretty tea house

some catherdal 

for the Cath Kidson fans

i literally jumped with joy when i saw this store LADUREE, how can we not love this !

totally forget the name of this market

We walked along Covent Garden until we hit Leicester Square and Soho! it wasnt a long walk when you have the shops surrounding you! IMAGINE THAT!its ways longer than Orchard Road in Singapore. One thing i love about London is that, the shopping street are all surrounding one area, hence they are very walkable!

M&M WORLD STORE LONDON

The happy chappy boy!

The store is amazingly huge 4storey rainbowed coloured themed! Can you imagine for the M& M collectors? They will definately go mental upon entering the store, from tiny itsy bitsy M&M magnets to huge plush toys.

coloured M&M wall 

the M&M beatles walk 

Paris @ M&M london

Us being touristy!

OK, this street is deadly for shopaholics! Oxford Circus and Regent street. Every single thing you want to shop for your wardbrobe will never fail here.! Because it was a Saturday, the whole entire London is out to SHOP!its like the whole world was on this street. Upon entering Topshop, we felt like a festival happening inside. It was huge and felt like i was in an asian night market, bustling with people and stuffed! But no doubt Topshop cost nothing compared to other countries.  Plus there were H&M were like Seven 11 ! Every junction you walk towards, there you go the red alphabetical light shines. We spent hours overwhelmed by the shops as we walked into them. So yeah , basically we damaged ourselves with impulse shopping buys. Thanks to Harolds and Selfridges.Co !

After a long long day, we settled at Bone Daddies in Covent Garden, we walked back to where we first began! Bone Daddies were recommended by Hsin Ye a previous londoner :) However, i didnt realised there were two of them , one with ramen only and the other steam and buns ( japanese fusion inspired) 

We ended up at the Bone Daddies Steam and Bun. It was busy as we walked in and was very lucky to get a spot immediately despite the wait. My rating of it would be 6/10. The ambience was very bar like. Constant chattery of the weekender lovers, its really casual nothing fancy and best for the weekend catchups. The crispy duck wasnt a let down thank god! Being our firs night in London, our bars were set pretty high. It achieved the crisp upon the first bite and the skin was perfectly moist as it settles in the mouth. The bun were perfectly steamed  which is alwasy a good sign when it comes to a Chinese inspired dish and themed. Nevertheless, Bone Daddies reminded me of any other underground tapas restarurant in Perth. OK and that was our first day :) 

till then 

xx

Assorted sashimi

Beef , corn , bimbimbap inspired hot stove rice

Crispy duck 

infamous crispy duck with steam buns