2015 of all

another year passes.
hello there world if you're still reading.
i guess the blogging trend is no longing much a need to the community anymore perhaps?

should we do the typical post of resolutions for the year? yums so much excitement, literally being sarcastic.
more like a reminder for myself , when i get to reflect by 2016.

1, do have what i have always wanted, a place of my own, a store of my own, i believe this would be the year ! its my time to shine!

2, work harder and harder and harder till my bank account grows sporadically

3, learn to be patient and change my ways  of ego . BE ZEN , be me :D

4, hitting my materialistic list

5, work my relationship
_________________________________________________________________________________

The realisations that stampede towards me within the sphere of my bedroom run circles in my head - round and round, bouncing back and forth between the notions of 'i'm losing it' and 'i'm fine'. I can feel fine cracks forming in my mentality, like cracks in a glass pane, surging and splitting with the slightest touch. It is with each moment with and without you I feel the cracks growing. What was once a giant unbreakable wall now lies rubble at my feet, my vulnerability exposed to be prodded and examined by someone from the outside. 
strikes again,  i love you. I'm mostly sure. i never said it to you because mainly i was too scared and i was hoping that you would know somehow. occasionally at the randomest times i would always question you, do you love me? it was just one word i needed to know, even though i know. i just wanted to hear it. the sound of it would kill all of the negativity again. every time i attempt to say it now, it feels also not so us anymore. but yeah, i still love you. Even though sometimes you make me want to physically hurt you and even after all the times you've ( unintentionally ) hurt me, you;ve been pretty great , as a boyfriend and a best friend. the first year has been amazing, and even though it hurts like hell now when we argue, i don't regret getting into this. and don't you say you wish that i didn't like you this much because i do, despite many efforts. when our last fight occur which was 2 days ago, i swell myself up in the wounds of pain. and all you had was your man ego, you ego to never forgive or even apologise just for me. must you be so calculative in this relationship. i used to lay on your bare chest without thoughts, about how the last few moments between us felt right, the current moments felt safe and the next moment was lost in ecstasy. it seems that now when i lay on your bare chest heavy thoughts surrounds, about how not long from now i will be laying on my pillow without you. the kiss on the forehead brings me back to where we are, reassuring me that its fine, that is still how it was. 

what is this i am feeling, where am i to you?
words or thoughts?
just say it to me , fight your ego 

stars beneath us

what defines us ?

love so deep, conquering our souls, it kills our mode to humanity. 

sensitivity, jealousy, priorities comes in our soul when we love someone so deep. 

we can never fight the happiness that drowns our times, but silent creep up slowly as the happiness fade

every beat of my heart, paints in my mind, everyday so much memories. 

i put you on a canvas, you enable to climb out. 

is this suffocation of your very soul 

seconds, minute, hours, days, weeks, months gradually years .

do you want to live in this cycle?

where is your willingness. 

isnt expectation the root to all evil, 

an addition priorities may lead to evilness and disappointments

my words are drying out .

left in the cold dark nights of theses walls.

hatred prosperous.

The ones where you gave it your all. The ones you felt that they would be there for you for the whole time. But something happened, or even nothing happened at all. Whatever it was, it caused the friendship to fade. And that friendship turned into acquaintances, and then into strangers. this is the saddest phrase of life and growing up. 

It all feels so pseudo? or am i the pseudo? My life perceptions have always been pure and strong. Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted and be treated equally. ive always been given warning about the possible damage into which my insouciance might yet lead me to pain.

pain which becomes a desire to recover through desperate forgiveness.ive always lived in a  world of greasy, cold faults. you may think its a hideout of runway when in contrast it becomes the total opposite. being the bigger person has always been the motivation. no grudge is all i contain inside of my very bottom soul. correct me, let me grow to be a better person, cause im deeply dying into this threshold if 

come and talk to me. 

dont let us be strangers. 

the couples.

I’m just waiting for the one girl who will protect me, who will make me feel deserving enough to have someone else. I’m waiting for the one girl who will truly understand me, who wants to atleast. Who will not be drived away by emotions, when I try to push them away. Who won’t give up on me. 

i will be that girl .

To the guys out there that don’t notice the smallest things , If a girl is willing to take the time to call you or text you to resolve issues or tension between you and her, then know that she truly does care for you. Don’t ignore her or neglect her, Pick up that phone and talk things out with her in order to resolve those issue. You are someone special in her life and she can’t stand the fact that she might lose you due to some insignificant argument. Learn to forgive and forget, Sometimes you just have to let go of the past and live in the moment, Cherish the time you and her have had and will continue to have in the future. Go make happy memories full of laughs and happiness. Don’t let those insignificant moments of anger get between the both of you and most of all never let her go to sleep mad or sad.

The argumentative couple.

The couple that always fights, yet they never have the guts to leave each other.

The ‘IT’ couple.

The couple that everyone wishes to be. The one couple that everyone looks up too. and wishes to have such a relationship.

The playful couple.

The  relationship everyone wishes they had with their significant one. Where they can play practical jokes on each other, and yet still find each other way too resisting.

The romantic couple.

The couple that always has everything planned out for each other. Anniversaries. Holidays. They both know what to do for one another. and always plans something just to see the other one smile.

The risky couple.

The couple that took the risk of falling in love with each other. And yet, still have the feelings that they had, when they first fell for one another.

The ‘trying’ couple.

The couple that always seems to have most problems. But always keep trying, because losing each other would be the worst thing for them.

The ‘perfect’ couple.

A couple that is just satisfied to have each other. With them, and yet so far away.

which do we fall in ?

make them yours before. . .

Make them yours, before someone else does. Make that move, before someone else does. Hold them close, before someone else does. Tell them you love them, before someone else does. 

Time wont wait for you, you have to make the moments happen. 

xx

v e r t s

How beautiful is it to stay silent

When someone expects you to be enraged from them.

And how beautiful it is to laugh

When someone thinks you are going to shed tears.

"RESPECT YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT NO LONGER SERVES YOU, GROWS YOU, OR MAKES YOU HAPPY."

Extrovert vs. Introvert

There is this common misconception about the natural behaviour of extroverts and introverts; extroverts are often times characterized as being lively and talkative, while introverts are naturally quiet and withdrawn.
This isn’t true. It’s correct that when you meet someone shy and quiet they will more likely be and introvert than an extrovert; however, this doesn’t mean that introverts are naturally shy, or that shy people always have to be introverts. On the contrary, introverts can be very talkative and discuss topics that intrest them for hours on end.

The actual definition of an Introvert is someone who draws energy from being alone with their thoughts, while Extroverts draw their energy from being with others.

Introverts are people can who draw energy from being alone with their thoughts. They enjoy, and sometimes even need, a deep conversation with people they trust; they often don’t like small talk, or rather often don’t see the point in it. But after a while they will feel the need to be alone again, to recharge and sort out things on their own.
Extroverts on the other hand, are people who draw their energy from being with others. They can enjoy being alone with their ideas and dreams just as an introverts can enjoy being around people, yet after a while they will feel the need to interact with others to fill up their energy

insentive

insensitive

i gave you my heart, i gave you my soul, 

i read you my thoughts, and we talked for hours, 

everyday so many talks and cuddles,  

 At night, the people come and go

They talk too fast and walk too slow
Chasing time from hour to hour
I pour the talks and souls
What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?

losing sight of everything i ever wanted to this stranger. 

rambling thoughts should be dashed out. 

* fashioncheck: PFW13 X Givenchy

* fashioncheck: PFW13 X Givenchy

anticipated week of the year for fashionistas

one of my latest favourite fashion designer, Ricardo Tisci of Givenchy

one questiosn: Rottweiler  to Bambi? whats the correlation? however, translucent bottoms, detailed printing that was all to steal the show

def: thoughts

THOUGHTS,
 The faculty of thinking or reasoning.

it is this faculty detesting the most. the pale look into your eyes conveys a huge thunder of thoughts in your mind.sitting quietly and patiently for the share of thoughts, as always, but knowingly its deeply killing inside to urge and strangle you to share them. the earthy colour tone of this cubicle walls slowly dying and drowning the sorrow of two earthlings souls. thoughts loomed overhead, soaking two souls in distances containing dirty unsolved emotions. drawing in a breath of the cool , moist air circulating the cubicle, more thoughts grew. like it leech, it stays on until being spotted and brushed off. this time its different, they stayed on and grew. the thoughts of course. it is because of these unsecured, evil, spontaneous thoughts which kills the souls. 

the pain of silence and coldness shattered this one soul. 

could it be the end?

there should be a reasoning for everything should they ?

''self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combatingnegative emotions, should be a defensive measure.  At least we will be able to prevent the advent of negative conduct dominated by negative emotion.  That is 'shila', or moral ethics.  Once we develop this by familiarizing ourselves with it, along with mindfulness and conscientiousness, eventually that pattern and way of life will become a part of our own life."-

*fashioncheck to thecravings for the moment

givenchy 2012 .

Givenchy 街头时代

 the bombardation of givenchy strikes. . . .

bits and pieces...

Besides being all nerdy and spending timeless nights away at uni labs, 

YES i do go out ! : ). .

Below are a few pictures found. . which i thought would be nice to share.  . .and prove a point where 

i do have a life! 

ive noticed in the eyes of some, i always been the outgoing one, a carefree life with no stress in hand. Some even had the concept where all i do is just have fun. 

Sadly, thats not the case. I DO go to uni, do my assignments, spend late nights focusing on my academics on weeknights.The closer people around me would know this, as they would be the one accompanying me to this sad nerdy stuffy cubicle. Just to make it clear, i do prioritize my focus in life. I have goals which maybe beyond my reach but heck ill push myself further if i have to thrive my way there. Being a libra, its perpetual that i will tend to lead a balance life between Work and Play. Believe me, when it comes to having fun i will definitely not disappoint. And when it comes to the serious bits, theres no messing around with me. Oh and just to clarify, i detest alcohol. I wont deny the fact that i hadnt had any to drink. But i DONT  at all  at times when we go out to have fun. I tend to adore the fact of being sober and being the designated driver. How do i do it all this ? A few little hints :

WORK

• Organize your time, Plan out a schedule, a monthly calendar is always useful when it comes to important dates
• Always keep a diary! Im a tad old fashion when it comes to writing. i believe my best friend of all time would be a diary! Yes i do keep a diary! it keeps me on track of my due dates and etc. 
• Having adequate sleep and water to keep yourself fresh!
• Pamper yourself alittle by making an effort to dressup for class :) 
• Do your assignments fews before its due! Motivate yourself that its due one week earlier!

PLAY

• You dont need massive alcohol to keep you high. ( Well i dont at all, so i cant justify as each person have person beliefs in alcohol) Just enjoy yourself and have fun. Blend with the crowd! Being thrashy is never classy!
• Making sure your friends are fine and keeping out of trouble
• Stay strong on will power if you arent keen to drink anymore
• jiggly wiggly around and smile for the camera :) 

Toodles

xx

Travels ; melbourne

The random decision to melbourne for the long easter weeken alongside the lovely eric! :) and oh boy yea we did have fun! 3 nights ! Hardd crazy nights :) thanks everyone for the great hospitality!

Eve , imperial , love machine , bass , silk road vip event ;) all checked