gins influences

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

its been a 3-4 weeks ,since that very day. the mind was as wrecked as ever, voices and thoughts crowded the mind and alas it pulled the trigger. i've so much to say to you!! the phone calls i made, every word was planned. unfortunately , it didnt work out as planned, i lost my card game. i lost my power of speech . i didnt want to the a liar, because whats worst than a lie would be a bad liar.

how are you? what are you doing? hows your family ? so whos the new person ?

all clogged up in the mind, althought i may have predict or somehow rather know the answers , i still would like to hear it from you . post after post, i rant and vomit my thoughts of you , i kept them as drafts. full stop, never published, for my eyes only . i dare not delete the msges and letters you wrote. i fear , yes i fear for you . every single day i walk in the same room , the bed, the warbrobe, the pig, they all deliver me memories.

''its ok, i better not disturb you!''

''dont worry , one minute or so wont harm, afterall one year and a half was a waste already. so its ok ''

wow, that really suprised me , your tone, your anger, the whole conversation.

''why cant you just admit you're a -----''

''so what if people know. its the truth, just admit it''

who are you to judge and spread the word? i underestimated you. i guess this is karma isnt it? or was it revenge? the whole relation was at stake , but ntg was done to save it. yes, i take the blame and i confessed, which is not what everyone can face up to . people have been saying why did you even tell him the truth? you should have just let things be . i cant, i refuse, because you do deserve the best.

i dont usually dwell on relations , i can move on . this post isnt about how emo i am or whatso ever you wanna think about, its just another entry where my thoughts are being jotted down. When your news spread around and it reaches my ears, i have no idea what to react or feel for that very moment.

happy, sad, jealous ?

whichever was it, it wasnt established.

the song right now by akon , has lyrics which are able to describe the whole situation.

i rant and rant and rant.

and now you should stop reading and close the page, and probably never return to findafullmoon.blogspot.com

i apologize mooners,

its the mind playing games again . .

i promise to be better tomorow.